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User talk:SuperSaiyan2Link
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the My Brother is a Killer page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! Underscorre (talk) 19:41, July 26, 2016 (UTC) Additionally from what I've read so far, I've come across a number of errors that would result in the story being below our quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:42, July 26, 2016 (UTC) Reply Yeah, I completely understand what you mean. Except for the last comment you had for me. Errors? Please explain further. :Your story had a lot of mechanical issues. There were multiple issues with capitalization ("Jeffery Woods, the Killer.", "I quickly snatched up the bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide ", etc. Improper capitalization after dialogue. ""You idiot!!!" Yelled (yelled) a muffled female voice", ""Don't mention it." He (he) responded.", etc.), wording ("Next came Keith, who's (whose) sudden knife strike was completely countered", "Perhaps the murderer saw an error (the phrase is 'the error of ones/their/his/her ways)'s his ways", "She grabbed the pice (sic) of paper and cleared her throat.", etc. ), punctuation errors (""Well well, boys, looks we've got some new meat.(should be a comma)" Randy cooed.", ""We need the moola, if you know what we mean.(,)" Keith told us", " "Too slow." Keith taunted", "Jeff, I only have a tiny bit of allowance in there." I told him. ", etc.), and plot. :Story issues: This feels like a basic re-hashing of the original story that attempts to shoe-horn Jane the Killer in. In the end, it really doesn't work effectively and ends up coming off as fan-fiction rather than telling the story in an original fashion. There really isn't much purpose to telling the story from Liu's perspective other than giving him fan-service. This is especially true since Liu has been made into an OC by others and there are quite a lot of awkward lines present in the story: "To you, I died. To you, I was the side character who worked as the motivation for our "hero."", "But our story begins almost where Jeff's version did." Really calling so much attention to it doesn't help the story much. Why exactly re-hash this story when the only major deviation is Jane's inclusion and Liu not dying? :Story issues cont.: So Jeff just finishes stabbing a kid in the stomach and his response is: ""I'll race you to school?" You already mention that someone witnessed the crime (and yelling), so how exactly is he wandering around without the police involved after (mortally) stabbing a child in the stomach during a fight? It even happens in public and has witnesses so it's not like this would be left alone for over a day. The fact that the child dies, in no way excuses the fact that Jeff killed someone either ("Until they let me out the next day. Thank god Randy confessed, before he somehow died."), additionally, did Randy corroborate Liu's story despite not knowing it? There are quite a lot of other issues with the story itself, but this guide goes a lot more in-depth on common issues present in spinoff stories. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:40, July 26, 2016 (UTC)